


cut wire

by kosy



Category: Blaseball (Video Game)
Genre: Dialogue-Only, F/F, Post-Shelling, Postseason of Season 9, Voicemail
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:55:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27406153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kosy/pseuds/kosy
Summary: “Hi, you’ve reached the voicemail of Jessica Telephone. Leave your name and number, and I’ll get back to you when I can.”“....Hi, Jess. It’s Nagomi. I, uh. I just thought I would try and call you. You know, to double check. I thought that because we’d talked in there that… I don’t know. It was worth a shot. [PAUSE.] Sorry about. You know. [CLEARS THROAT.] Hope you’re alright in there. That’s—sorry, that’s stupid of me to say, I know it’s… Well, I hope you aren’t doing too bad. Talk to you soon, maybe. I’m, um, I’m hoping for bird weather. For you. Bye.”
Relationships: Jessica Telephone/Nagomi McDaniel
Comments: 7
Kudos: 30





	cut wire

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [i want to be a context for you (and you for me)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26489938) by [cryptidgay](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cryptidgay/pseuds/cryptidgay). 



> hey everybody! this fic functions as a short little sort-of-sequel to [@cryptidgay](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cryptidgay/pseuds/cryptidgay)'s fic "i want to be a context for you (and you for me)" which you should absolutely go read, but basically all you have to know going into it is that because of jessica's Cool Phone Powers, she and nagomi were able to talk while they were shelled together. this is just a kind of follow up taking place in the post season of s9, leading up to season 9 day x. hope you all like this!!

_“Hi, you’ve reached the voicemail of Jessica Telephone. Leave your name and number, and I’ll get back to you when I can.”_

“....Hi, Jess. It’s Nagomi. I, uh. I just thought I would try and call you. You know, to double check. I thought that because we’d talked in there that… I don’t know. It was worth a shot. [PAUSE.] Sorry about. You know. [CLEARS THROAT.] Hope you’re alright in there. That’s—sorry, that’s stupid of me to say, I know it’s… Well, I hope you aren’t doing too bad. Talk to you soon, maybe. I’m, um, I’m hoping for bird weather. For you. Bye.”

#

_“Hi, you’ve reached the voicemail of Jessica Telephone. Leave your name and number, and I’ll get back to you when I can.”_

“[SLOW INHALE.] I don’t really—I don’t know why I’m calling you again. I guess I might have hoped that it didn’t go through last time but maybe it would this time, or that you just weren’t picking up. Which, if that is the case—don’t give me the silent treatment, Jess, seriously. I wasn’t trying to… You know. I wouldn’t have left if—I don’t know, I’m just sorry you’re stuck in there still. I hope you find somebody else to talk to. I wasn’t in there long without you, but when I was—[AWKWARD LAUGH.] I guess I don’t have to tell you. You already know what it’s like by now. 

[PAUSE.] 

Just call me back if you can. Alright. Bye.” 

#

_“—reached the voicemail of Jessica Telephone. Leave your name and number, and I’ll get back to you when I can.”_

“[PAUSE.]

Did I ever tell you about that month without you in there? I don’t remember. [PAUSE.] Oh. That’s, um. I didn’t even realize I’d forgotten.

[PAUSE.] Anyways, it was the worst month of my life. Worse for you, probably, considering the getting free and then getting trapped again, and then what happened with Seb, which— _God,_ Jess, why didn’t you tell me? 

I know I couldn’t have fixed it, but I could have… I’m not sure. Something. Anything other than just sitting there still talking to you but not knowing. 

[PAUSE.]

It was so quiet in there alone. And I know you already know that, too, but the more I try to remember my time in the shell, the more it slips away. I have to tell someone. The Crabs try to connect with me, they do, but it’s not the same as… 

They aren’t you, that’s all. Nobody could even come close. 

But it was so quiet and so dark. Not vivid dark, not void-dark, just dark like the inside of your own eyelids so there's no difference either way. The texture of the shell was rough but not enough to be… interesting. I traced my fingers over the divots until it didn’t feel like anything anymore. Like a sensory deprivation chamber, only I could still feel things. They were just devoid of any... context, I guess. Anything that would make them matter.

I talked to myself in there a lot, too, but after a while, the sound lost its meaning. It just made my throat hurt, and that was almost nice at first, but after a while that pain didn’t mean anything either. Just became another part of it all. [CHUCKLES BITTERLY.] It couldn’t even let me have that.

I hope you aren’t—hurting yourself or anything. I know it will feel real when you dig your nails into your wrist, but it’s not real in a good way. It’s better to lose sense of things entirely. 

Promise me you won’t—

Sorry. I don’t know why I said that. I know you can’t hear me.

Polkadot got out a few days before I did, and they were, um. Well, they didn’t have anyone to talk to in there. They looked like hell, Jess. Take—take care of yourself, alright?

  
  
# 

_“— —reached the voicemail of Jessica Telephone. Leave your name and number, and I’ll get back to you when I can.”_

“I remember how after you got shelled for the second time, you called me and screamed until your throat went raw and all you could do was rasp, and even then you kept screaming. You didn’t say anything at all. It was just a wordless shriek, and it hurt my ears, and I couldn’t turn down the volume on my phone. I hit the button over and over but nothing happened. You needed me to hear you, or you needed _somebody_ to hear you and I just happened to be in the way. I was crying, but I don’t think you heard. I would do it again. It hurt to hear you hurting like that and not be able to do anything about it. But—Jess, I _miss_ you. Even if all that’s left now is the hurt.” 

#

_“—— — reached the voicemail —— Jessica Telephone. Leave your name and number, and I’ll get back to you when I can.”_

“Do you think it’s normal, Jess? To get out of there and feel almost…? 

I don’t know. I just still miss you, that’s all. I miss… 

Well. Bye.”  
  


#  
  


_“—— — reached ———— —— Jessica Telephone. Leave your name and ——— I’ll get back to you when I can.”_

“The championship matches start tomorrow. It’s looking like the Crabs could actually ascend. We might pull it off, after all this time. So that’s. Good. 

[A BREATH.]

Why do I—

God, why am I so _angry?_

I don’t even know what I’m mad at. I can’t have been this angry before. I remember being—I wasn’t the most levelheaded person in the world, no, but since when has anybody well-adjusted ever been a blaseball star? I never blew up at anyone or anything no matter what happened. No matter how often I was uprooted. But now I feel like I’m standing at the edge of something I don’t understand, something so big and dark and churning that _mad_ doesn’t even begin to cover it, it’s like—it’s filling me up and stuck inside and nothing I do can break it out. [BUILDING IN VOLUME.] I want to _scream._ I want to tear it all down—what the fuck is _happening,_ Jess? Anger like a physical _thing_ in me. I keep waiting for it to go away or go to sleep, leave me alone even if it’s only for a little bit, but it just stays there. It stays, and I don’t know _why—”_

#

_“—— — reached ———— —— Jess——Telephone. Leave your na—— — ——— I’ll get back to you when I can.”_

“Are you still in there at all? Sometimes I’m not sure.” 

#  
  
_“—— — reached ———— —— ————Telephone. Leave your n—— — ——— I’ll get back to you when I c——.”_

“I watched you climb back into your shell after the game. It was—

[PAUSE.]

You played well. Watching from the dugout, it’s easy to admit that. Yeah, Jaylen’s a good pitcher, even after everything, but she’s got nothing on you. I wasn’t surprised when you hit a home run off of her. Congratulations on the win. 

[CHUCKLES.] Everybody’s so upset, you know. They loved you. Or at least the idea of you. They want their champions so badly, don’t they? They don’t understand. They don’t understand any of it. 

I mean, really what are the Pods? In the grand scheme of things, I mean. Just a new team to play for. We’ve both had plenty of those.

[PAUSE.] 

Jess, I should tell you— 

[SIGHS.] 

I was jealous. I’m still jealous. 

I didn’t know what it was before, when I’d just gotten freed, but now— 

I watched you climb back into your shell after the game. I watched you all go back up into the sky, I watched the red swirl in the air around you like paint. I missed it so much it hurt. I wanted— 

They’re saying it was brainwashing. The press, everyone who knew someone who got shelled. They’re saying it’s the only way to explain a heel turn like that. They might be right. [FIERCELY.] But they _don’t_ know what it was like in there. They can’t. With you it was different. 

[PAUSE. THEN, SOFTER:] 

I miss talking to you. I miss the way you’d sound when you were ranting about your old teammates. I miss your laugh. I miss that you would laugh at me at all. Everyone here, they’re too scared to. They don’t… they can’t tell when I’m joking. I don’t know. Maybe I’m just not making as many jokes as I used to. But I miss your laugh anyway. I miss that you always knew what I meant, I miss that I never had to—to _explain_ myself to you. You knew me. I miss closing my eyes in the dark and pretending I could feel your hand on mine. I miss falling asleep knowing I would wake up to the sound of your voice.”

#

_“—— — ——— ———— —— —— ————Leave ————— — ——— I’ll get back to you———”_

“Just come home, Jess. Come home.” 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> fics that make you say "op is a lesbian for whom listening to mabelpod was clearly a formative experience"
> 
> thanks for reading i hope you guys enjoyed!! i'm on tumblr @fourteenthidol, and comments and kudos mean a lot to me if you want to leave them. thank you all and have a nice day!!


End file.
